a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
"YOUR DRAUGHT OF LIVING DEATH COULDN’T KILL A FRUIT FLY"
"YOU PUT SO MUCH GINGER IN THAT POTION IT TASTES LIKE A WEASLEY"
I BET THAT IF TWO KIDS LIVED IN THOSE TWO HOUSES THAT THEY WOULD COME OUT ON THEIR ALMOST CONJOINING ROOFS OUTSIDE THEIR BEDROOM WINDOWS AND TALK AND BE BEST FRIENDS AND FALL IN LOVE.
I will not write fluff to that. I won’t. No.
LUCY I FOUND IT
But what if instead of two kids, it was, say, a kid and an old woman? And at first they just ignore each other and keep their blinds down and curtains shut, but then the kid climbs out onto the roof one spring morning to get a frisbee and she’s got the window open bc it’s so nice out and she tells him to cut that out, it’s not a jungle gym and maybe the kid shows off a bit and nearly falls, and the old woman catches his arm…. anyway, so sometimes they leave the windows open and the kid’ll show off his comic books or asks what rhymes with ‘beautiful’ (and it’s totally for homework shut up), and the old woman tells him about all the protests and marches she took part in, and asks him the name of that one cute pop star (it’s absolutely for her crossword now shush). And the old woman gives the kid relationship advice, and doesn’t tell when he tries a bit too much of his parents’ liquor cabinet one time, and the kid comes over and shows her how to use the smartphone her daughter bought for her, and doesn’t tell when she sneaks a cigarrette out of said daughter’s bag. And when the weather’s too bad to open the windows, they tape silly pictures or notes to the glass for the other to see (the kid makes sure to make his extra big so she doesn’t have to admit her eyeight isn’t what it used to be), and when it is nice the kid will sneak over and leave seashells on her windowsill, because the old woman said once she misses the sea, but she can’t travel like she used to. And one day he peeks in her window and sees her on the floor, and calls 911 and basically saves her life because she had a stroke and nobody would’ve known in time otherwise. And when she finally gets back from the hospital, just for a while because her daughter’s talking about a retirement home where she’ll have plenty of medical care and lots of friends her age, the kid comes through the window and then pulls another kid through the window who he introduces as his boyfriend, and says he wanted her to meet him. And she sniffs and interrogates the boyfriend in proper elderly relative fashion, and then declares him worthy of her boy— barely. And when she finally does have to go to that retirement home, the kid still comes to visit her, and always leaves seashells on the windowsill.
I’m not crying or anything
I am omg
Bucky’s face here will forever be the worst thing in the world. He’s looking at Steve and he’s so proud of him but there’s also this look in his eyes that says "he doesn’t need me anymore, why would Captain America ever need Bucky Barnes" and it’s all over his face. But when you pay attention to Bucky in the crowd you can see him looking around and taking it all in, taking in the fact that people finally see Steve the way he has always seen him and I CANT TAKE IT ITS DISGUSTING HOW MUCH HE LOVES STEVE AND HAS ALWAYS APPRECIATED HIM AND NOW THE WORLD LOVES HIM AND HE’S OVERWHELMED BUT HE’S ALSO SO SO HAPPY OH MY GODDDDDD
Nice girl: what?
Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick
Nice girl: excuse me?
Douche: yeah, it should say choking hazard lol *hi fives bros*
Nice girl: isn’t that a label they put on small objects?
I like to think that Howl and Calcifer just sat down and had tea and a chat once in a while. You would too if your fireplace were a sentient fire demon. It’s one of the perks.
(Super late submission to ghibli jam, which I only found out about at 10PM last night (!) Process on twitter soon.)